On Winds Of Whiskey Breath
by wayunlucky13
Summary: On HIATUS! Things hit you quite a bit less hard then usual as long as your under the sweetening affects of fine, quality, RUM! What can I say, Chris she’s the person who gets me drunk, my anchor, the sweet air of existence... the bringer of my rum!
1. Chapter 1

**On Winds Of Whiskey Breath: Good Bye, Tortuga  
**

**A/N:** The Official Sequel to 'Jack Gets Hungry' This is my surprise guys! You'll all love it! We'll start on the many adventures of Captain Avery Jayee! By the way, some of the little remarks are not supposed offend anybody... but are only showing how hostile Captain Avery Jayee can be... also since I'm writing this.. I've decided 'Jack Gets Hungry' starts before the movie... just because I can..

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**Disclaimer:** No I don't own Pirates Of The Caribbean, But thanks for thinking I could own something so awesome. I do however own The Awesomest Made Up People in the world, Captain Avery Jayee, Christina, (the barmaid) and whatever other people I decide to create! 

**Billy:** If they're were the 'awesomest' made up people in the world you wouldn't own them..

**Mel:** oh whatever Billy you're just jealous of my talent..

**Billy:** Jealous of your _talent_? _chuckles_

**Mel:** that hurt, I'm not feeding you for a week!

**Billy:** You don't feed me, I'm a ghost... remember?

**Mel:** You know you're a ghost just because I say you are, right? I could turn you into my imaginary friend... and they have to eat! Why else do little girls have tea parties with them?

**Billy:** No, I am not! And imaginary friends aren't REAL it's just little girls drunk off tea hallucinating!

**Mel:** Oh, whatever!

**Billy:** Okay, believe what you wish...

**Mel: **If you're telling the truth, then I won't let you watch Buffy or Pirates Of The Caribbean then!

**Billy:** Hey that isn't fair, you know I was only letting you prove your genius and talent to those who don't have the common knowledge of it!

**Mel:** Aw, Billy that's why I let you watch TV _smiles inside_

**Billy:** Of course that's why you let me! _squirts Mel with imaginary squirt gun_

**Mel:** Hey, I thought we were friends! _Squirts Billy with imaginary hose_

**Billy:** We are friends! Just friends with Hostile and Random actions _plays with yo-yo_

**Mel:** I guess that's kinda true... _pulls out an accordion out of a tulip on shirt_

**Billy:** Dang straight! _Blows bubble out of gum that's 3 feet/1 meter big!_

**Mel:**_singing while playing accordion_ Oh Susannah Don't You Cry For Me! I Come From Montana With A Banjo On My Knee!

**Billy:** I think we should give them their 'long a-waited' story

**Mel: **_Sighs _I guess you're right... join us later for, the end!

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**The Prologue:**

Will got home from another hard day at the 'smithy' and greeted his wife my kissing her cheek and hugging her while whispering into her ear, "I love you, I really missed you." when he heard a familiar voice "Oh, save it for someone who doesn't know about your condition." "Jack?" Will asked getting up from Elisabeth/Mrs. Turner. "The one and only, though I believe _even_ you know my title... but since you're probably already senile, having kids and all. Let me remind you, the name's Captain Jack Sparrow... now don't let that get away from you..." Jack said from the shared doorway of the dining room and 'sitting room' "What's Jack doing here, Elisabeth?" he looked at the 5 month pregnant women sitting on the couch...

"Oh cheer up old chap, Elisabeth didn't invite me, if that's what you're fearing... though, I would've loved an invite when little Leala was born..." he crossed his arms across his chest and looked at Elisabeth "Now, Jack call Ariel, by her given name!""Hey, it isn't my fault you called her 'Ariel'... she's a 'Leala' if I ever saw one...""Jack!" Elisabeth yelled at the somewhat older man... "Fine, I would've loved a little a invitation when little _Ariel_ was born!" "Thank you!" said, Elisabeth happily... "Now, don't you go thinking you won, I only gave in, because you're pregnant and someone told me it's not good for the baby when the woman argues!" Jack said, excusing whatever Elisabeth said 'wrong' "Jack, give up...Now tell Will why you've come!" said, one very stressed Elisabeth... Jack stepped forward losing his _usual_ swagger. And said, "Now, William, I've been thinking... and I decided that this child needs his _pirate_ grandfather." Will groaned... he had some idea of where _this_ was going... "Anyway, me and Lizzy got to talking... and we've decided I would be this child's great 'uncle' seeing how I was your father's best friend... I normally wouldn't agree to such, but I feel the child needs a proper _'father-figure_'." Elisabeth elbowed Jack at this point. "Ow, that wasn't very nice _Lizzy!_" Jack yelled turning around at Elisabeth. Will sighed... he knew what he had to do, "Jack, we appreciate the offer, and all. I just don't think it would be best if our little boy and girl were to grow up around their _Half-Daft_ _Pirate_ Great-_Uncle._" Jack looked at Will surprised... he really thought he'd have to convince them out of it, after he left their house, when he was done hiding... "Fine, Will I hate you too!...I'm going home!" Will looked at Elisabeth and blinked a couple times... after a while he said, "That was weird..." "Yeah, yes it was." answered Elisabeth

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**The Story _Really_ Begins:**

Captain Avery Jayee decidedthat she wasn't having the greatest day, that she was sure of! For some reason unknown by her, Chris's Tavern only had Rum that was made in FRANCE! What did the french know about anything alcohol-related other then wine? So she was stuck with some straight whiskey in her mug... it was okay but, still wouldn't be in the running with the crappiest un-french rum she had ever tasted in her life!

She tried to talk to Chris because she was hadn't been so bored since the time her 'mother' left her in that old lady's house who made her call her 'grandma' while she was out 'working'. More like working noblemen... but enough of that... basically it was the first time since then, she had been sober.. Or at least partially... this whiskey just doesn't have that rum fire, she has enjoyed over these years...well anyways Chris has attend to 'customers' these people are so drunk out of their minds that they can't tell crap from quality rum. 'I just might have to leave Chris's Tavern for good... if one can't have a good drink there, what else could one do?' I sighed and drank the rest of my whiskey being to lazy to go across the street to what ever tavern stood there.

'I can't believe this.. Infamous/Notorious Captain Jayee... rotting with the other low-lifes in Tortuga.. All In A Good Day's Work...

Pathetic really... waste of talent and of a pirate.' She yelled "Chris give me 3 more... and keep 'em coming!" 'maybe if she had enough... she'd get drunk enough to stop noticing how much of a waste her life was. Sure she was famous, world-known in fact... Filthy Rich, and Feared by all... but what else was there?'

She chugged the next 3 whiskeys... then she heard a familiar voice.. "I've always liked a girl who likes her liquor."

She groaned... not tonight... any other night would be fine... but not tonight.. She turned towards where she heard the voice... making her look straight into the eyes of no other then Captain Jack Sparrow... "What do ya want, Captain Sparrow..."

"Oh, I just wanted to have a drink, and maybe catch up with one of my fellow comrades."

Avery groaned again loudly. Jack raised an eyebrow "What did you have dinner plans with someone?" Avery answered, "Why yes Jack, of course. I always have dinner plans with my favorite dinner guest, rum." "Would you allow me to join you and rum?" "I'd rather spend my time with 'rum' alone. If you don't mind." "Oh, but I do... after all. Looking at you, I'd say rum was my friend years before he was yours." this was just annoying didn't he have someone else to bother? "That makes me feel young Jack, but we both know he was mine before he was ever yours." "Is that so?" Jack questioned... Jack, has to answer everything with a question if he can manage it. "Yes, I'm afraid it is. Over these last few weeks you've become the person who knows the most about me, _alive_." I answered truthfully "Not many people _know_ you other then Christina, do they?" Jack pointed his head towards Chris... the barmaid and my best friend since childhood. "No, no they don't Jack, I like it that way." I got up and started heading for the door, I could be wearing a sign that said, 'Leave me alone, I don't wanna talk to **anyone**.' and I swear Jack would still be acting like this.

I groaned loudly when I heard Jack's uneven steps following me... I turned around making him almost walk into me, "Jack, why can't you leave me alone... please just this night." Jack smiled what I think some girls would call a 'charming' smile... "Only if you let me bed you, tomorrow night." "Jack!" I said warning him what I'll do if he continues "Okay the next night!" "No!" "Okay, I guess a week from now." "No." "Fine, Chris a week from now..." "If she says yes." "I'll take it!" Jack smiled happily thinking that he won... I did, I got rid of him for 2 days tonight and when Chris says yes. Chris has been wanting him to 'approach' her for days... I smiled and said, "Goodbye Jack." "Wait!" and that's when he decided to plant a big wet one! Right after we agreed that he would sleep with my best friend in a week if she said he could. Disgusting! I, of course, slapped him hard. Then I had my sword to his throat in 2 seconds flat! "Jack, what did you think I was gonna do?" he gulped "I figured you'd do this, but I thought I should give it a try." he said grinning... he has got to be the biggest idiot in the Carribean! It amazes me sometimes...

"Well it didn't work! And you only succeeded in making me hate you more!" he chuckled! Can you believe the nerve of that _man_! "Is that a bad thing? If you're only after lust why would that be bad?" After lust? After lust? I do not lust. And even if I do, I at least get the man before the end of the night... anyway If I wanted to, I would have Jack, I mean because he's basically throwing his self at me! I'm not flattering myself believe me... I pushed my sword in harder, and said, "Is that what you think? You're the one basically throwing yourself at me, if I were in 'lust' as you like to call it I would have caught you, instead of throwing you out to the curb!" "Is that true, unless of course. You, for some reason unknown to me, think that it would be bad that I think you're a whore!" he said almost reasonablely. "You know, if I was absolutely full of **my**self and if I didn't know what was going on in **my** pretty little head, I might've thought the same!" I said truthfully. He just looked at me and smiled again. "If I didn't know any better I would say that is a very good point." he said. "Good Bye Jack!" I said, hopefully for the last time tonight. "Goodbye Avery!" he waved and I yelled, "That's Captain to you!" and I finally went home to my wonderful ship... named the '_Lucky Fox_' I got out the 'crew's' rum and had myself the night of a lifetime... or at least the drink of a lifetime...

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**Jack's POV:**

Women! Unbelievable, attractive, creatures! So confusing... or at least this one... usually if I do that, they continue it...further...

But this one! This one, is very different...and she wants _me_ to call _her_ Captain! Ridiculous, I'll call her captain when I see her 'ship' most likely another girl who named her 'rowboat' some ridiculous name of some famous vessel. Oh, what a stop! I'm starting to hate this girl!

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**Avery's POV:**

'Ugh, I must've drunken a lot... never have woken up with a hangover... Better check where I am...' Avery opened her eyes... sending what I'm sure was blinding to her eyes light... dilating her pupils to a point where they were almost invisible... Oh, god... I must've done something bad... she felt someone move as she opened her eyes... she looked down at herself... she saw a tanned arm around her front... and saw that she didn't happen to have clothes on! Now that struck Avery as a little odd... she always sleeps in her clothes... unless she wasn't sleeping... and then it hit her... She decided to see what taste 'the super drunk' her had... when she looked at the man next to her... her eyes widened...

It was no other then Jack Sparrow!... she thought in her head... Then the tanned man sleepily said, "Captain Sparrow, captain.. Why do people always forget that part?" she also noticed that Jack was not clothed also... and was hogging the blanket... who would've thought the Infamous Captain Jack Sparrow was a bed hog! Too underestimate a little... she freaked... big time!

She got dressed and had her sword to Jack's Throat in the blink of an eye! "Is this a new tradition?" Jack asked sleepily "No!" she answered angrily, stunned that he didn't take her threat seriously...

"Well it seems anytime I'm unable to react... you pull your sword up to my throat." Avery looked Jack over... it seemed he was in the process of putting on his pants... I guess he's kinda right... but besides that... "Why am I here?" "Because your own legs brought you here..." Jack answered rolling his eyes... "Are you saying... I came here on my own?" Avery stupidly asked... "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying..." Jack answered pulling his pants up and doing up his belt.. He starting to move forward.. "Stop!" said Avery thinking he was trying to escape.. "Why, just grabbing my shirt, and jacket?" Jack answered walking forward and sure enough on the ground was his shirt, jacket, and other belongings that weren't on his 'person' right now.

Dang, I don't think last night was one of my bests... I apparently thought out loud because Jack said, "You weren't too bad... a little too drunk to finish... but" he stuck out his hand and waved left to right slightly single it was okay...

But I didn't finish he said... right? I mean that means the most I really did was make out with him... maybe get undressed... right? That's better then what I thought... I pressed the blade harder against his throat to get my point across... I leaned in very close... so much I know he could feel my breath on his face... "Leave me alone, Jack..." he watched me as I made sure I had all my things together... never said a word... and for Jack... being silent is something that just doesn't happen... This is a very weird day... I get hung over for the first time in my life! Find out that I almost slept with the 'legendary' Captain Jack Sparrow... and Jack shut up!

I swear never to drink on purpose again!

I can't keep that... maybe just while in Tortuga... yeah, that sounds 'bout right...

When I was sure I had ALL my things together... I went up to Jack and slapped him... and said, "You shouldn't try to take advantage of _drunk women_, Jack!" then I did something even better... I took his hat... and placed it on my head... went up to him and slapped him again! Then said, "Goodbye Jack maybe I'll see you again... I doubt it, though." all he did was glared at me... another unusual thing for Jack... if he's pissed he'll let you know...

And then I left Tortuga...**_Forever_**...

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**A/N:** Okay I know this is a weird story... it wasn't supposed to end up this way though... but it did, and I can't say I'm not satisfied... **Happy Holidays Everyone!**

**A/N2:** Oh and this is the surprise... there will be a chapter2... so see-ya later everyone!

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**Billy:** Bye peoples.. Read all of it please...and review... don't just use this for your enjoyment and then just leave it's rude!

**Mel:** Billy, they can review if they want... _turns around towards audience_ But, you wouldn't mind typing out a few words for a girl like me, would you? _puppy eyes_

**Billy:** Please, she'll beat me if you don't! _Puppy Eyes_

**Mel:** Now, Billy we both know that isn't true... don't go around spreading lies and rumors...

**Billy:**_sighs_ Okay... Happy Holidays Everyone!

**Mel:** Until next time _Tips hat_

**Billy:** Yeah later peops _Uses yo-yo to break Computer screen

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**Thank You For Reading!**


	2. Life Away From Tortuga

**On Winds Of Whiskey Breath: Life Away From Tortuga**

**A/N: **Hey! Special thanks to SlinkyAndTheBloodyWands, Sentinel Sparrow for reviewing, and being 2 awesome writers... check them out!... Also **Happy New Years!** to all you guys out there! This takes place after Jack meets Avery... which I've decided is before the movie... and then about 2 years and a half after the movie... **Also get ready to hear Jack's biggest fear!**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing that you recognize... whether it be a name, a place, or a person! So, please don't sue me, report me to Disney.. Because that would be **_wrong_**!... and I own The 'Lucky Fox' and her crew, Queen Daisy of the Leprechauns, Christina (the barmaid), Captain Avery Jayee, May (the first mate), Luke, Marcus, _Billy_, and whoever else I decide to create!...

**Billy:** How would that be wrong?

**Mel:** It would be wrong because I'm a innocent dreamer and the above proves that!

**Billy:** Maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong...

**Mel:** Why would I be wrong?

**Billy:** Because I'm usually right! _Smiles evill_y

**Mel:** Says you! I know for a fact I'm usually 94 of the time... That I am right!

**Billy:** You just made up that number in your pretty little head didn't you?

**Mel:** Maybe _Laughs nervously_

**Billy:** See you did! That just proves my point!

**Mel:** _tries to whistle..._ Come here, come here, Daisy!

**Billy:** _Gives a confused look_ What are you doing?

**Mel:** My Friend's, Aunt's, Brother in Law's, Friend's, Sister's, Friend's Grandpa said that if you blow hard enough you can call 'Queen Daisy of the Leprechauns' and have tea with her and I wanna see if it works!

**Billy:** Oh brother...

**Mel:** What! You have a** _brother_?**

**Billy: **Did have a brother... I'm a ghost... an old one... meaning that all of my family members are dead

**Mel: **I'm sorry... do you need a hug, or maybe someone to talk to?

**Billy: **_glares_I'm over it!

**Mel: **Sheesh... don't have a heart attack... I was just trying to be emotionally supportive of you!

**Billy: **Let's just give them their story...

**Mel: **Okay, but let me just say... technically it's not 'theirs' 'they' are just reading it!

**Billy:** Just get on with the story!

**Mel: **I'm going, I'm going!

**Chapter Two: Life Away From Tortuga...**

**Captain Avery Jayee's POV:**

**_Captain's Log:_ **

_It's been 2 weeks since setting sail from Tortuga... hopefully to never return again... I'm awful glad I kept the ship over stocked... the crew of the 'Lucky Fox' is getting restless... I'm hoping to reach the Isle of the 'Dead Nights' soon... but we've had 3 storms on the way... our boatman is good enough to keep us afloat... but the ship is not in good shape... I hate Carribean Storms... and they happen frequently..._

_We've attacked 4 merchant ships... they all surrendered... since pirates are a such 'big' threat... We've taken quite a load of gun powder... and muskets... We think it was supposed to reach the navy... so we better sail out of here fast..._

That's how life had been lately... piracy... when in a deserted part of the sea... was not very entertaining... Other then the nights when all the crew pulled out the rum and partied into the morning... but most of those nights half the crew couldn't remember... including Captain Avery Jayee...

They were only a couple hours away from 'the isle of the dead nights'... you could tell because you could see it, faintly. The Isle was an island... so far... undiscovered by anyone except the 'Lucky Fox's' crew.. And when the crew was to drunk to think up a name, one person said something... and it's been called that ever since... They kept supplies there, extra booty, and anything they treasure enough to keep it off board but not need it when going to places...

Many of the crew, questioned why they were leaving Tortuga... and none received a single answer.. They were a lot of rumors moving across the crew...most of them saying that Captain Jayee got too drunk one night and turned half-daft... never sobering up...

Captain Jayee sighed as she stared down at her 'Captain's Log' she could sum up most of what happened to her lately in **2 paragraphs!** Why did she even write what happens on the ship? It made no sense, even to her! She loved the life of a pirate...but it was just getting a little old! Very few battles with some merchants... most of them surrendering because they recognize the name! Some challenging because they learn it's captained by a Woman!

She glanced at her 'new' hat on the desk next to her log, she smiled at the memory of Jack's glare when she took his hat... many of the crew did ask about it, commented on it... etc. She of course just shrugged too lazy to make up a story... But her first mate, May did see the J. S. in the inside of the hat... just under the rim... she asked about it, and since she was her best friend (other then Christina of course!) She told her about it... Now May was known to be a big-mouth... and now probably half the crew knew a tale of fables, a fourth, the truth, and the last fourth made up whatever story to explain their captain's new hat! Pirates have got to be the best gossipers... maybe even better then 'noble' people... and gossip is their only source of entertainment!

She decided to check up on deck.. Luke, was swabbing decks as usual... him being the ship's only clean-freak... good thing too! Otherwise the ship would be rat-infested, That Captain Jayee was sure of! She walked across deck and to the side and stared in the water.. Being to lazy to practice with her cutlass and knowing her crew was hard at work...

'Normal' person would've just seen water... but what Captain Jayee saw was the best action of fought battles, and some of the best booty the crew had. Then she heard a voice yell, "Ship insight! Flying the flag!" She immediately looked up... and looked through her eyeglass and smiled... sure enough... a ship flying a pirate flag... action at last!... she looked up at Marcus in the crow's nest and yelled, "Fly the white... and blue." Meaning that they wanted to talk to the other ship's captain before they decide if they want to attack... Marcus saluted being the ex-navy man he was...

"Get Ready Men!" were the next word to come out of Avery's mouth.. The crew quickly took out their weapons and loaded the cannons... they wanted to be ready if the other crew decided to attack...

**Back On The Black Pearl:**

The Captain smiled as he looked through an eyeglass. A ship was heading towards them. A small boy, looking to be around the age of 10... spoke up, "What are you smiling about, Captain?" the captain looked down at the boy... and changing his expression to a serious one and answered the boy, "That is our source of entertainment for the next little while." The boy perked up, and said, "Do you know what ship it is?" The captain frowned, and said, "No, it's too far away..." The boy quickly said, "But, I'm sure there is that it couldn't be any grander then 'The Pearl'." The Captain smiled and said, walking around the deck, "It couldn't be, could it?" his voice loud and obviously noticed by the crew... "This ship, has the best crew the world has ever seen!" The crew cheered.. "The biggest Pirate threat in the Caribbean!" the crew cheered again! He continued, "The fastest ship in the entire Ocean, and best of all, It will **never** be controlled by the king himself.. Let alone the navy!" the crew cheered louder then before...

**Back to the Lucky Fox:**

"Let's get this ship moving!" Avery said impatiently she wanted the action all the sooner... The crew cheered... They obviously needed some entertainment too. "Get your swords out!" Avery yelled. They were now only 300 yards/meters away from the other ship...

Avery tensed, after looking through the eyeglass, and reading... 'The Black Pearl'... It was obvious that she had tensed... because May, the first mate tapped her on the shoulder and asked, "What's wrong, Captain?" Avery turned around and said, "It's the Pearl." May looked shocked.. She had to ask, "Is it him?" Avery nodded. May smiled and said, "Then, you better look your best! Throw on that old, ratty, new hat of yours!" Avery laughed and ran to the Captain's Quarters to do just that...

May turned towards the sea and whispered, "I hope he's not holding a grudge." clearly worried.

**Back On the Pearl:**

Jack blinked unconvinced that the sight in front of him was real... he pinched himself, he proposed to Gibbs, he yelled, "I love Norrington!" at the top of his lungs, he drank sea water, and he slapped Ana Maria... and yet he wouldn't wake up...

Something was seriously wrong... He could see clearly Avery... his last 'flavor' of the hour, on a ship with the writing, 'Lucky Fox' and it looked like she was shouting out orders. Worst of all, She was wearing HIS HAT! She was supposed to be lying about the ship!

He yelled "Gibbs, Fly the green!" signaling he was going to try and negociate with the captain of the other ship. He had to get back that hat... It was wrong for a Captain to go a week with out a hat... unnatural... in fact...

**Back to the Lucky Fox:**

Out of nowhere Avery heard "I love Norrington!" yelled clearly by a man...

'Jack must've found out' she thought... so she decided to wave at him... it was obvious that Jack hadn't seen it... because now it looked like he was trying to rip out his hair...shame really..

Avery turned towards her men, "Alright men, I want you to be ready for anything! Because of a situation... anything could happen! Whatever you do, don't put your life in the hands of this man, nor his crew... keep your back unturned... this man cannot be trusted!" Avery took a deep breath and said to herself, "Now this is gonna get interesting." She really can't complain... this is gonna be the highlight of her week... whatever happens...

The Pearl pulled along side the Lucky Fox. A gangplank was brought down and 2 men crossed, one of them looked like he'd been doing this for decades... the other, One very nervous looking Jack. Avery smiled... she already knew she had the upper hand... she yelled, "Nice to see ya, again Jack!" The guy next to Jack nudged him and said, "How do you know her Jack?" Jack scratched the back of his neck and answered, "Oh, you know how I get around." Avery put her hands on her hips trying to restrain herself from skinning him alive, and cutting off his manlihood!.. though a lot of women would be happy to see that. That made her blood boil... she doubted he even told his crew about her beating him in a sword fight... and sparing his life at the least... Why did she spare his life? Now that she thought about it... she had no idea... I mean she could've taken the 'Black Pearl' forsakes so why did she save him? She put her hand to her chin in deep thought... trying to figure out why...

**Jack's Eyes:** Once I made that comment to Gibbs Avery had anger flicker in and out of her eyes... as if she were trying to control it. Then she put her hands to her hips and suddenly looked very stiff... then she had an awfully confused expression on her face and then put her hand to her chin in what looked like deep thought... I'm confused... thought Jack, I knew it would be weird seeing her again after what happened but I didn't know she'd just ignore me, especially with my being captain of this ship... **I mean she can't ignore me, can she?** Jack raised his hand to his chin deeply in thought... then replaced the focused look with one of horror

**Back to Deck:** May looked at Avery... she was going into the zone... once she got there... it was hard to get her out... May worked quickly... She stepped in front of Avery... and jumped on her toes as hard as she can... yelling "Avery, you're zoning out!"... after she did that, and Avery hit her and started cussing so bad... that many sailors would look like saints... in comparison. She notice Gibbs doing about the same thing... in fact he also jumped on Jack's toe... and Jack also cussed worse then a sailor and hit Gibbs...

May started laughing to bad that tears were streaming down her face... she was laughing so hard.. She didn't notice that most of Jack's crew had come over to what was all the commotion or that everyone was throwing confused looks...

May finally quieted down and wiped her tears quietly chuckling to herself... and looked up at the crew... "What?" she asked everyone... it was dead quiet and all eyes were on her... "What I'd do?" then Jack turned towards Avery again and said, _"Hi, how are you, what's wrong with her?.."_ no, not really but that would be pretty funny... "Does she have anything... or is your entire crew a band of loonies?" Lots of the crew, stood up raising their weapons of choice throwing Jack glares... Avery raised her hand and the crew dropped the weapons and continues glaring, but May stood up at this pulled out her sword and brought it up to Jack's neck, teeth clenched and said, "Be careful what you say, It might be _contagious_ and you wouldn't want to be a loony, now would you?" May spit at the word contagious. Jack laughed and said, looking over at Avery "Did she get this from you?" Avery shook her head and Jack looked back at May and said, "Who's to say who's loony and who's to say who's sane." Avery clapped her hands and said, "That's enough May, Captain Sparrow... I believe we have some negotiations to take care of!" in a 'much like' Norrington-manner. May backed up and glared at Jack. Luke (the ship's clean freak) yelled, "May, you're swabbing the decks now!" May glared at Luke with a back-off look and he glared right back at her... Avery decided to take control... "Captain Jack Sparrow... meet May Smith, First Mate." Jack looked at her and said to himself "I already hate her..."

Jack decided to introduce Gibbs... he said lazily, "This is Joshamee Gibbs, First Mate." "Alright, Captain Sparrow, if you trust me enough...follow me..." Avery said in her most 'noblemen-like' voice... she chuckled to herself while the others stared at her as if she was mad... maybe she was, or maybe the rest of 'em didn't have a sense of humor...

**The 'Negotiations' went on for hours... Avery and Jack were doing okay, except for the hat... but Gibbs and May weren't doing so well... constant bickering, bantering, and any of b word that you can think of that could mean arguing..**

Gibbs was now snoozing away... "I still say, I should get my hat back!" Jack yelled at Avery... "Not, after taking advantage of clearly drunk woman!"... Avery retorted

May had enough and spoke up, "Jack, if a hat is that important, you can have one of mine.. Avery should keep yours because of what you did, it's only fair."Jack couldn't exactly argue with that.. And as much as he liked to admit it... what she said was true.. But he couldn't go admitting things to people.. Now could he?

"How was I supposed to know she was drunk, I was drunk myself... I couldn't go lowering my standards that _low_ for anyone on purpose, now could I?" Avery glared at me... May stood up and said, "How 'bout I get us all some rum..." she smiled when Avery waved her away

**May's thoughts: **Free at last! I love Avery and all but when Jack and her, are in the same room. I just wanna struggle the life out of both of them!

**Back to the Captain's Quarters (negotiation):**

"She just saved your neck." Avery pointed out... "Oh really?" Jack asked lifting up an eyebrow.. "Yeah, really, if Gibbs and May hadn't been thereto witness your painful death I would've killed you!" Avery said saying the last part slowly for better measure.. "What would you have done? If you don't mind me asking." at that second May came barging in with a case of rum.. One already in her right hand and said, "Drinks everyone!" May chugged down her bottle as quickly as she could... the sooner she forgot about this... the better..

**A/N:** I think that was quite a nice ending... what would you guys say? Review and you all get to touch Avery's new Hat...k formally known as Jack's hat... I'm kidding that would be a crappy prize/gift... Fudge Brownies for all! Did you pick up on Jack's Biggest fear?... funny huh? Well drop me a line ;)


	3. Cracking Rum Bottles

**On Winds Of Whiskey Breath: The Cracking Rum Bottle/You Just Slept With A Pirate**

**A/N: **I'm so, **so** sorry for not getting it out sooner... I have excuses.. Even though I know you don't wanna here and just instead try and kill me... just listen... lately I've been feeling a little blue, lazy, I went to Missouri too to see a old friend...I lost my muse and I haven't gotten time on the computer... so don't blame me... And No I'm NOT trying to make fun of Miss Elisabeth Swann... just merely using the names to my advantage for comedy...

**A/N2:** A big **Shout out/Thanks to _Sentential Sparrow and SlinkyAndTheBloodyWands!_** Without you guys I would've already stopped this series, because I'm quitter... So thank you! And if there is anyone besides them who is reading this.. YOU** BETTER** Thank them...

**Disclaimer:** No I don't own 'Pirates Of The Carribean', neither Disneyland, nor the Patent/licence to Hershey's Magic Shell Chocolate. I do **however** own the Lucky Fox and her crew, Christina and her bar, Avery's Alias, Henry Sacs, The phrase, Queen Daisy Of the Leprechauns, the plot, and this penny my dad cut in half... Billy owns himself now, because he ran away! _Cries_

**Queen Daisy:** That is a wonderful list of things you do have... but it still isn't as good as owning POTC, Disneyland, and an ice cream sundae

**Mel:** I know _sighs_ I know _shakes head_ And I want Ice Cream so bad!

**Billy:** _pats Mel's back..._ there, there.

**Mel:** Billy! _Turns around_ You came back! Did you come back for me, or did you come back for Buffy, food, and Pirates Of The Caribbean?

**Billy:** Hmm... that's a hard question..._Mel Frowns_ hmm _scratches chin in thought_ I felt your craving, so. _Lifts up a gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream_

**Mel: **_hugs Billy_ I missed you! _Grabs ice cream_ Billy, do you remember what you forgot?

**Billy:**_ holds up dark chocolate syrup, caramel syrup, spray whip cream, strawberry syrup, reese's magic shell chocolate, and a can of Machino cherries_ What did I forget?

**Mel:** You rock! _Starts putting together the greatest sundae ever!_

**Billy:** But I've known that forever!

**Queen Daisy Of The Leprechauns: **Two friends separated, reunited! _Claps hands together smiling and watching the fight unfold between Mel and Billy_ wonderess!

**Mel:** Sorry, _pushes Billy off of herself_ We'll _pulls Billy's arms off of throat_ Be Back! _Jumps on Billy and hits him with a pan, that she just pulled out of thin air. Looks at unconscious Billy, Jumps up and down yelling _I won, I won, I won! _Looks at readers_ What are you guys still doing here! _Waves hand_ Go! Flee! Read!

**Cracking Rum Bottles (May's POV)**

May sat up and glanced around the familiar Captain Quarters. Her head was killing her. So she grabbed it, hard, harder, hard. She heard laughter echoing throughout the room. 'I don't feel so good.' She laid back down and groaned 'I'll just sleep a little longer' She shut her eyes and fell into unconsciousness

**Avery's POV:**

I didn't know Jack was this funny! I thought as I took another swig only to end up spewing it out in laughter... He kept moving his hands in over-exaggerated hand movements, making the weirdest faces, and telling me about his thing with a swan! Apparently he rescued some Swan for this boy named 'Turner' getting rid of the old curse on his old crew (who by the way marooned him) The curse of Long lines to the head! All he had to do was, throw a old coin into a ton of other gold coins, on the way the swan started coming onto him, and Gibbs backed it all up! Now the Swan and Turner are married, been pregnant, and are pregnant again!

All I've got to say is, 'Those are gonna be some ugly kids... half swan, half eunuch!' And it's a good thing Jack didn't let the swan come onto him... or he and the swan could be in worse shape!

**Jack's POV:**

Avery, for some odd reason was laughing her head off! Especially when I told her 'The Curse Of The Black Pearl'. I t was weird. I thought her to be, you know one of _those_ people who didn't smile, and didn't laugh. And now here she is doing both! Weird sense of humor, I'll give you that, but it's quite entertaining...

I finished off my 7th, or maybe 8th, no, no, it had to be the 9th! I'll just skip that part, I wasn't sure how much the other had, had. But Avery, was spewing some out.. I most definitely think she's had enough. May has fallen asleep, she fell asleep early last night... but with how she was drinking... no surprise. Gibbs right now is mumbling so quiet that I can't understand what he's saying but every time Gibbs pauses Avery and Him laugh.

I speak up, "How many have you guys had?" Avery sighs and gets this very concentrated look on her face (brows furrowed, frustrated pout) then she tilts her head so she's looking at her fingers then fingers start popping up one by one then she points at me and starts drawing squiggles in the air with her finger. Then she smiles and says, "This Much!" 1 finger on her right hand and 3 on the other... "Four?" I ask... that can't be right... can it? She shakes her head and says "thirteen." then she sticks her fingers in my face... only giving me an inch to breathe and says, "See!" I wave my hand and say, "I saw." obviously annoyed... she's really acting young while drunk... this is not at ALL like last time..

_**Maybe these are spiked with baby powder?**_

**Gibb's POV:**

Jack opened a rum bottle, put it to his eye, and started moving his head and the bottle around... I think Jack has had enough... He's as bad as Avery...

**Avery's POV:**

Jack was looking for something in the rum bottles, so I threw one at the wall to check... there wasn't anything, so I hit Jack for making me throw a rum bottle at my wall, he hit me back, so I kicked him,

HE kicked me back, so I stood up and said, "Do you wanna fight?" and he jumped up and said, "Of Course I do!" we both reached for our swords when Gibbs yelled, "Sa–ttup" (I think he meant stop... but who knows) too late both mine and Jack's swords hit together automatically parrying.

**May's POV:**

I woke up to the familiar sounds of swords clashing together.. So I hurried got my hat, my pistols, my cutlass, and boots... hurrying and put them on.. Then I silently cursed myself for oversleeping...the ship was under attack!

I ran up on deck where my eyes met with a sight I couldn't believe... (well I could, I just couldn't believe that I missed some of it) I saw One fairly drunk Jack, and One Very Drunk Avery sword fighting with the crews cheering them on! I ran up to Marcus (My Brother) and asked him what was happening!

He quickly said, "I dunno, we were swapping the decks and such, when we heard some glass breaking and a few swears, so we figured the Captain was drunk again...you know how she acts." I nodded "Yeah." "When maybe 30 seconds later That Sparrow..." Marcus was interrupted by Jack "THAT'S CAPTION." then he ducked to miss a swing aimed towards him... May rolled her eyes "And the Captain came out fully-engaged in a sword fight! Most of us were hollering for the Captain..." May nodded, Marcus continued.. "Most of us here... bet he tried to charm her." I laughed and grinned in Avery's and Jack's direction... If only one woman in the world were the only one who could stay single it'd be Avery... she just can't be tied down.

**Avery's POV:**

"What a way to get the day started! Don't you agree Captain Sparrow?" I yelled amused and chuckled a little when he yelled back, "Wonderful Way!" He smiled and came at me harder... I had to move because I wasn't strong enough to block that last blow... he backed me up to the edge of the ship... right before the railing and then he said, "Give Up?" I yelled back "Never." I had a plan... I jumped up on the railing then carefully, and quickly went down it to where we tightened the mass's sails, then I grabbed a rope and swung right behind him... he quickly turned around... but too late I already had my sword up to his throat. Then I whispered, "Would you like to surrender now? I'll save you the embarrassment." he laughed and said, "Surrender? Why would I want to do that?"

**and it continued like that until Gibbs finally said, "Stop it already... we're tired of watching!"**

**Avery POV:**

I sighed knowing that I probably should stop... I held out my hand and said, "**Truce?**" Jack glared at my hand... making it seem like he was deciding whether or not he wants to touch it. I've gotta admit, I was insulted! He mumbled a little... I rolled my eyes... "**Truce**." he held out his hand and we shook. Then he said, "Since, we're civil now... how 'bout we celebrate by me bedding you!" I rolled my eyes...the world could be about to blow up, Jack being the only one knowing... and yet all he'd **still** be thinking about that... I lifted my sword to his throat...

**Jack's POV:**

"So I guess that'll be a no then, if I'm not mistaken..." I said, disappointed."GET OFF MY SHIP!" I was slightly taken back... I've been slapped around, Beaten By Angry Husbands/Brothel Owners... Because of women... but I've never been kicked off a ship by a woman!

**Avery's POV:**

He wouldn't move! "Get off!" he still didn't move... good thing that he was close to the edge... I pushed him overboard. I've gotta admit... It was quite fun... just thinking about it... it makes me want to do it again. I went over to the edge and watched him resurface... "YOU THREW ME OVERBOARD!" I laughed... "AND YOU WOULDN'T GET OFF OF MY SHIP!" "BU–" I cut him off, "MY SHIP, MY RULES... 'SIDES YOU NEED TO STOP WHINING!" Jack started swimming over to his ship... "HEY JACK!" "What!" he said, pouting.

What a **_baby_**. "SEE YA LATER." "Whatever..." Jack went to his wheel and started sailing off...

**FF to Dock:**

"Well, men, be happy... You're here, again..." Avery changed her mind about Tortuga... 'sides... she hadn't had any _pleasurable_ company in a while... and now she was in the perfect place to get some... Avery basically ran to Christina's Bar... her men, and May and Catharine literally ran off the boat to go find whatever they were planning to do... Avery beamed happily... she didn't realize how much she missed this place... OOO, Chris's Bar! She finally got there.. And she sat there, in her regular seat (right by the tap)and Christina came up and basically yelled, "Where have ya been? I was starting to think that you had got yourself killed... you've never been gone that long..."Avery smiled and said, "Oh, so now I gotta kill myself to be dead? I was kinda hoping I'd die a death as honorary as any pirate could...getting caught by the navy.. Finally after running from them for 20 years, killed in a battle, my ship blew up because of a stupid crew member, or even while drunk, or getting ran over by carriage while drunk... But **no** I have to go and get myself killed... now do I? Chris waved her hand, "You know what I mean..." "So how is tonight's crowd?" Avery asked smiling all-knowingly

**Christina's POV:**

Just like Avery, quick to the point, and dying to get laid... after being gone for **2 weeks**! Well, I gotta say... it's unfortunate...but... we'll catch up later... I pointed my finger towards a man with blonde hair, pretty pale complection, dull brown eyes... kinda dirty, and drinking heavily... Avery smiled at me, stood up, winked at me and starting walking toward the man... I feel sorry for him... but if that's what Avery wants... she was bound to get to him eventually...

**Avery's POV:**

Well, it's a good thing Chris knows my type... now at least half of my work is almost done.. After all just by watching fights and staring at the oil lamps with some kind of interest you could tell... he was at least half drunk... "Is this seat taken?" I asked already knowing he'd let me sit down... but he doesn't need to know that... He shook his head no... and gestured for me to sit down... "So what brings you to Tortuga?"

**Christina's POV:**

I walked over to bring drinks to Avery and that man... that and to see how far she had him under her spell... but she don't need to know that..."So what business are you in?" Avery asked, "First, tell me your name?" ha, he's flirting already! Man, this boy falls fast..poor guy..."You tell me yours..." Avery said, back... So like Avery not to tell her name... when we first met she told me her name was Kailyn, then Jessica, then Robert! I finally found out her name by asking her mom... unfortunately... the man answered, "Henry Sacs." Henry reached out to shake her hand... as everyone did so...so far... she said, "Patrice Mondell." now that's gotta be one of the best fake name's she's come up with... well, how long I've been standing here will be suspicious... so I better leave them to their business..

**Avery's POV:**

"So what do you do again?" I asked trying to sound shy... "I'm a merchant..." oh, great. oh well. I'll run with it.. I need the 'sleep' anyway... "Oh, but aren't you afraid of spotting a pirate ship?" trying to sound genuinely scared/worried for him... he puffs out his chest a little.. "No, not with me and my men... We've already saved ourselves from a pirate ship twice..." "Oh, god... that must have been terrifying... I've only heard of pirates attacking... never seen it..." Just one little white lie... "Well, it isn't as scary as they try to make it seem..." "You and your men seem so brave... especially you...not a spot of horror as you remembered yourself getting away.." the man laughed and said, "Well, that's the important part... getting away.. If I had already gotten away from a pirate then why should I fear it?" he really should... if he knew what was good for him anyway... this is the worst liar I've tried to pick up before... "So what do you think about pirates?" trying to actually sound genuinely interested... He scoffed, "The bottom of Society... in fact trying to un-attach themselves completely from society... trying to push the peasant into the very hole society was built on... pathetic _men_..." Avery clenched her fists at her side and hoped that no anger showed on her face... "What about Women Pirates?" she paused for extra effect... "I've heard about them... and since you have firsthand experience... you must know about them... Are they as _ruthless_ as the men pirates?" he chuckled, he _really chuckled_..."No, no... they don't actually exist... sometimes the whores that stay on the ship are mistaken for female pirates... but there's no such thing..." I widened my eyes in surprise.. You have got to be joking! That's what Society thinks of me... either I don't actually exist because I'm a woman, or if I actually do exist I just happen to be a man! I knew most of society thought I was a myth... but I thought that might've been because of all my 'achievements' put most pirates to shame.. Or possibly because I've never been in a book... or even because of people who tell my adventures over-exaggerate a little... I guess society has been one-sided all along... even when I was considered part of it... I really thought it would've changed... especially with a worldwide known female pirate! But no, I guess not! "But what about the Captain of the Lucky Fox... what was her name... Avery Jayee?" I asked wanting to know what people thought of me... "Well... actually The Lucky Fox... is captained by Marcus Smith... and there's at least 3 whores on the ship..." oh! That just burns through.. Stupid men! I'm sick of them... all they're good for is _entertainment_... and _even_ that I have to push for! Fricking Marcus! He's only the 2rd mate! I'm not a whore! Neither is May or Catherine.. Oh, I'm sick of this! I was now trembling trying to keep my anger hidden...The only reason why... gotta wait for the right moment to strike... "Are you cold?" Alex or whatever the man's name was said... "Y-yyes." I answered trying to look like I was shivering... the man said... "Would you like to go someplace warmer?" I smiled knowing what he had in mind... after all, men are almost always as one-sided as Society. "Of course." **Men are so stupid**...

**FF To The Morning:**

I rolled over smiling when I saw the man from last night sleeping peacefully... I nudged him... waking him up... "What do you think about pirates, again?" he rolled over looked at me and said, "Ruthless, Unlawful, and Disgusting men. Could never respect one..." Strike 2, (Strike 1, was when he finished too early) he's got one chance left... "What about Female Pirates?" he scoffed and said, "there is none." I pulled him close and kissed him... though he was an early finisher... he was one of the best kissers I've kissed... such a shame.. He pulled away and said, "You're beautiful..." and caressed my thigh... oh boy, does this guy ever give up?

I smiled and said, "And You Just Slept With A Pirate." I held my laughter at the face he had... "I'm sorry, what did you just say?" Oh, the reaction is priceless... too bad he didn't know what he was getting into... but that's how it's gotta be... "Patrice? I'm sorry I didn't quite catch that..." I looked up remembering my fake name... "I said, **You. Just. Slept. With. A. Pirate**."

He immediately jumped to the other side of the bed... I said, "What's Wrong, Alex?" I came towards him with my best 'concerned' face on... He fell off the bed... what a sight to see a man in only a dress shirt and some underwear falling off the bed staggering in fear... Oh, sometimes I love living...

"Who are you?" he demanded. I laughed... oh, it's so sweet when they get like this... "Why that's simple... the woman you left Christina's bar with... the woman that goes by the title... Captain, Avery, Jayee." I might as settle his spirits before they jump out filled with fear again... "B-bbut l-llast night... you asked about her... the myth... You couldn't be her..." My, My, My what a bold thing to say... to bad...

I lifted up the blanket... I saw him stare disbelievingly at my attire... "How did you get dressed so fast..." Oh, boy, this man is so young... "One, She isn't a myth. Two, I asked because every now and then I want to see how much I've affected society. Three, Why wouldn't I get dressed before you wake up? Four, There **are** female pirates... I'm just living proof of that... Five, there comes a time in every man's life where he needs to be outsmarted by a woman...I just _thought_ you had reached that _time_..."

I paused and walked towards him... "So what's your name, again?" He looked angry... I guess when I was so young and impressionable and maybe had the same thing happen maybe I would be angry too... I don't know though... I don't think a 'Half-Daft Man' by society's standards would try to make me take them back to a place and use me just because they were horribly sex deprived... I mean... I was like what? Six back then? Nope, at least where I came from, they didn't do that... Well he needs to grow up... this will just speed it along... hopefully... he glared at me... "Why?" "Because I forgot it." "Henry, Henry Sacs.." "OH! I thought your name was Alex!" "Really? Do tell" he said sarcastically... "Hey Robert, Thanks for the night!" I think he's happy now... I was sincere... right? "By the way, I'd learn a little from this about pirates if I were you... not many are so kind.. I don't even know why I am... they'd cut your head off for what you said..." Andrew had gathered himself in a corner and was now rocking back and forth mumbling something... "Well, have fun..." Dang, I feel like I'm talking to dang air! I should shoot him... maybe rob him... okay that's what I'm gonna do... I searched his room looking for anything that held my interest for more then 10 seconds... after all that's the only way you can tell if anything is gonna be worth something to you later on... the only things that I found like that was a pocket watch, a new hat, and some boots.. All the rest of his belongings didn't really catch my eye... so naturally I left them... Arthur however was still in the corner rocking back and forth... Maybe he's sick... oh well... I'm tired... I need a drink... "Get well, Anthony!" He amazingly snapped out of what ever he had been in long enough to stop rocking back and forth and wave to me... I have a feeling he'll be all better quite soon...

You know I shouldn't of done that I mean, _really_ because now that I think about it, I now have a little loony _friend_ being the mascot, trying to convince people that I do exist... May, god have mercy on me... He better snap out of it! Maybe, I'll go back and kill him... y'know just in case... Oh, man I need a freaking drink! Where's Chris's? Where the crud am I! Oh, good... Oh, good... there's Chris's I know where I am... Rum! Yes, that'll solve it all! I've been sober for _way_ too long! An entire night, that's horrible, especially after just arriving in port... Rum, rum, Rum! Oh, there's Chris... She looks bored

(y'know the morning crowd is always dense... meaning I basically am the morning crowd.. But of course that doesn't stop Chris, I swear she's got her heart set on making an 'almost-legal' living... I don't know why she even bothers... but I do appreciate it, after all she's made almost a half of my entire existence able to stand... 'cuz of course consequences and other things hit you quite a bit less hard then usual as long as your under the sweetening affects of fine, quality, RUM! What can I say, Chris she's the person who gets me drunk, my anchor, the sweet air of existence... the bring-er of my rum! But enough about her, 'cause I gotta ask for my rum)

"Good Morning Chris! It's such a fine day!" Chris looked up from wiping the bar clean and glared at me "What's with you?" I asked wondering why she would glare at _half_ her business... "I'm tired of the business, Ave." Oh, that would explain a little... "Well, what do ya wanna do about it, as I've always said, you're free to join my crew!" "But Avery, I got it made here, I'm making some real cash, and I ain't got a brother, husband, or father to tell me what to do, depend on, give the money to, or to stop me! I can't up and leave all this..."

well, now that was, I gotta admit... kinda what I wanted to hear, but I kinda want Chris to join my crew, but where in the blazes will I go to drink! "Well, Chris... If it's any consolation I can't say piracy has no downs..." I paused, thinking what am I gonna tell her, I'll probably have to lie unless I find something that'll convince Chris... "Yeah, like what?" "Well, If you're a chick apparently you're mistaken for a myth, quite a lot more then any man would be..." I sighed this isn't very easy... "Example?" begged Chris hopefully that the drawbacks were less painful... I could see it all in her eyes... people who don't know her don't see through all the clouding... herself trying to keep the true feelings covered and not open for all to see... "Well... y'know that guy that was in here last night and I left with?" Chris nodded... "Well he _reallt_ hated pirates... and I asked him about myself and he said that I was a myth... basically he said Marcus was the captain and me, May, and Catherine were whores on the ship because basically there aren't any female pirates... it's just housewifes and lonely sailors making it up..." Chris just plain looked shocked, open-mouthed even... her jaw almost touched the bar... she quickly recovered and said, "That's it, I'm going to join your crew..." "I always knew you would in the end..." _Temporarily_ join your crew... _temporarily_" I patted Chris on the back... "We'll leave in 2 days... okay?" I got up from the bar and headed back to the docks...

**Mel:** Was that worth the wait... _freaks out _please forgive me for the wait!

**Billy:** Of course it wasn't! The last time you updated was Mid-February!

**Mel:** Why are you so negative? 'Sides I had a bad case of the Writer's Blocks...

**Billy:** Y'know that isn't a real disease...

**Mel:** Says you! _sticks out tongue_ Screw you!

**Billy:** Well screw you!

**Mel:** Well that's the end... Review if you please... it'll make me happy even if it's not a nice review considering how long it's taken me to update...sorry 'bout that...


	4. Cat Out Of The Bag!

**On Winds of Whiskey Breathe: Cat Out Of The Bag!**

**Disclaimer:** No, I don't own Pirates Of The Carribean or any of the characters that you recognize... I only own the plot, (however plot-less it may seem) and my Characters I'm sorry if this doesn't please you.

**Mel:** I know, it's been forever...I hope this chapter satisfies you guys as much as it has me...

**Billy:** Of course it isn't gonna...you were laughing your head off at it... I do not find a single word of this chapter comical.

**Mel:** You're mean... and it is too funny... just watch when we get reviews then you'll know what a comical genius I am...

**Billy:**_chuckles _You a genius? You must be joking..I saw your grades last year.. Out of ALL the things you are, _stupid_ tops the list and _genius_ isn't even on there...

**Mel:** Well...if you don't appreciate my hard laboring maybe I might as well just kill you off!

**Billy:** I'm already dead!

**Mel:** You know what I mean... I'm sorry for not updating guys...but school started and I'm moving and everything's just been in a mess...

**Billy:**_shakes head_ excuse excuses, excuses_! sighs_ Is that all you know?

**Mel:** No! Oh, and the internet was shut off during the move and we just got it today! That's why I'm finally updating today.

**Billy:** You're not that smart, are you?

**Mel:** EXCUSE ME!!! Look above in this conversation! You did say I was stupid... Get A Memory man, before you start crap with me!

**Billy:** Whatever...Just give them their story...if any of _'them_' are still interested after this long off a wait!

**Avery's POV:**

Avery leaned over the rail and took in the pink and orange water, The sun was just getting to rest beneath the horizon and soon the moon would take it's place in the sky. 'This is how it's supposed to be.' Avery thought as she looked towards the sky... A memory stuck in her head.

_**Flashback**_

_Avery's head bopped up and down with excitement. "We're finally getting out of here!" she whispered. Avery looked at the sky through the boards to the sky. She could tell her mother's twilight visits with the governor were about to start... Avery heard footsteps above her head. They were in between the floorboards and the ground. She silently counted in her head, "3, 2, 1." and the door opened and slammed the door closed. The light from the lantern revealed a smirk painted upon her face. She whispered to Chris, "Let's go." They crawled towards a wooden crate, and inside were things that each had been gathering up just for this occasion. Avery pulled out a pair of scissors and started cutting her hair... Short. Real Short. Short enough to pass off as a boy, she handed them to Chris. Chris secured the scissors in her hair, closed her eyes and cut. Her golden locks hit the ground with a soft pat. Avery placed the scissors in a canvas bag. _

_Chris pulled out 2 pairs of boy's clothing. They were her brother's, Charlie who had grown out of the last summer. She hugged them against herself and said, "We're really going, we really are!" she handed Avery a pair and starting changing. Each put a dagger in an ankle sheath and both put a sword on a belt/sheath. Avery pulled out 2 canvas bags and start counting up some gold coins that were in the bottom of the crate. They finally had enough coins to barter passage on one of the ships in port, live off it a while. Avery slung one of the bags onto her shoulder and put on a hat, Chris did the same. Avery slid a couple boards to the side and crawled out from underneath the floorboards. Chris now lead the way through the streets and then they finally arrived at where they were to retire for the rest of the night. A half-burned down Cathedral underneath 2 pews._

_Avery rolled over on her elbow. She was too filled with anticipation to sleep. "Chris, you awake?" she asked hoping that she wouldn't have to be up alone. "Yeah." Chris answered back. "What are you gonna do once we're out of here?" Avery asked. Chris smiled through the darkness and said, "Exactly what you want to do, I'll live freely, doing whatever I please, and live richly." "Even the seafaring part?" Avery asked knowing how much Chris hated the sea. "Temporarily, Temporarily the sea part." "What will you do after the sea?" "I don't know... Maybe marry a rich nobleman and find my place in society." "How is that living freely?" "**It Would Be My Choice.**" Chris said agitated "Which you'd lose." Chris groaned, "Ugh. Not that stuff again!? Why can't you change your way to the way of the world...Why do you try to change the world to your way... that's a fool's battle." "I'd rather be a fighting fool, then a fool following the foolish." Chris winced, "Why do you have to make my head hurt?" _

_The Sun soon rose and with the newly started day, She now knew, would begin a newly started life._

Avery looked at Chris and smiled, "Why are you smiling at me like that?" Chris asked suspicious of what Avery's sudden intentions were. Avery's smile widened, and she laughed. Making Chris cower away in fear. There was a wicked gleam in her eyes and she didn't want to find out why...

Avery said loud and clear. "Promise not to tell Marcus— Okay, you remember Jack —That guy who you stole the hat from... Well... He's just so dreamy.." Avery sighed as if thinking further about Jack's greatness.

Chris pushed Avery and Avery just laughed at her.

"Cheater!" Chris said jabbing her finger accusingly into Avery's side. Chris cleared her throat and lowered her voice, "Well I just want to be free, free to drink, free to what I want, free to finally live on what so many sailors call the 'SEA'!" she smile cheekily. As if to say "What can you do about that?"

Avery laughed and said "I did it better!"

Chris looked horrified (eyes wide, mouth agape) "You absolutely did not!"

"I'm afraid so." Avery said gravely.

"Your wrong."

"Whose to say I am?"

"The Fox."

"You would not turn my own ship against me!"

"Oh, I would and have"

Avery narrowed her eyes and then focused her hearing. "Liar."

"What?"

"Liar!"

"Why?"

"The Fox wouldn't even think of betraying me!"

"How can you say that? Can you honestly tell me that you've never thought about leaving the ship on some island and sailing away in something grander?"

"Why yes, yes I can." Avery said firmly. "Are you kidding me?"

"Obviously you've never listened to me when I've told you about **this** ship."

Chris groaned, "Obviously." She rolled her eyes.

"You see that helm?"

"Yeah."

"That _very_ helm was where my father stood conducting his crew. And this is the last place, he stood before those 'redcoats' took him in the Americas!" Avery screeched... her face red with anger.. Her eyes glistening, as if an actual tear might fall out.

Chris stood there mouth agape and she realized that Avery hadn't **EVER** spoke of her father. Chris always assumed that it was just some guy Avery's mother met in her line of work... She never thought that Avery might've actually known her father.

"You see this ring?" Avery asked, pulling a piece of rope from under her collar... "The rope is from the noose, that was forced over his head..." A tear slowly slid down Avery's cheek. "The ring was given to me as they pulled him away from me, by the very same hands that laid lifeless the very next day... **This** ship and **this** ring is all I have left of him... They didn't even burry him... They sent him to a man of 'science' to study the human body... who actually burned him later on... I watched the only man, I've known who saw women as equals, who I had known to call 'father'... Die. On the end of the hangman's noose."

Avery held her head in her hands... "I was to weak to do anything about it... I watched him die, helpless, afraid to move, fearing I might be next... It was all my fault." Another tear slid down Avery's cheek... "The only reason he sailed into dock that time... because I complained that I didn't like rowing... and I just wanted to see what's it like to sail in like a normal ship... My father just laughed, Shaking his head at me... patted my head and said to himself, 'My little Angel...'And walked off. Never did I once think about, how dangerous it could be, or what my father would do to solve that..._Never_. No, I was only think of myself. _Me! Me! Me!"_ At this point Avery broke out in a full string of tears... she wiped them, trying to cover up... she still had them streaming down her face... "That's why I couldn't **EVER** leave this ship...It's all I have left of him..."

"I'm sure it wasn't your fault..." Chris said, smiling sadly.

"Well, if I hadn't –" Avery argued when Chris cut her off..

"The world is full of 'if's... If we all would've done something else...Would the world be different?... Would it be better? Would you give up every ounce that you know, felt, and own to find out what would've happen? That's exactly what you'd do had you the chance to go back and do something else...Think about how it would change... We cannot change what has happened... we can only decide what's to come of it... Are we gonna sitting around moping at how it was our faults...or are we gonna forgive ourselves? Besides, it was _your_ father that docked, not _you_. You didn't make him, it was _only_ his decision, his consequence. You couldn't of known."

"But if I had just shut my big, selfish, bratty mouth...then it wouldn't of happened."

"Look at you!" Chris grasped Avery's Arms... "You're the most selfless person I know! Look at the articles...You don't get anything out of them...You don't care about what happens to you...You care about your men, your crew, and anybody else." "But..-."

"No, buts. I will not hear it!"

"B–."

"No!" Chris said stubbornly.

"So are you excited?"Avery said trying to get the subject off her.

Chris just waved her hand..

'_funny how things change, we used to only talk about getting off of land..now I have to drag her to get off it'_ "Come on! It'll be like Old times!" Avery said trying to hype up Chris.

Chris groaned Over-Dramatically "Ugh. I hate old times! Why did you always insist on doing something that could've gotten us killed!?"

"Well...I never tried to...it just sort of happened." This is not at all what Avery wanted ...the old times were at least exciting... Maybe people surrender because of the name of the ship... maybe we should change the name of the ship...

"Y'know Ave, in a funny, stupid way, I almost miss the younger us, full of ideas and mischief."

"Well you're coming with me, right?"

"Well, I said I would until your name is cleared."

"Well good. I want to get out of this stink-hole called an Island."

"Hey! That's my childhood home you're calling a stink-hole!"

"It's mine too!"

"So? I just don't like people pointing it out!" Chris yelled.

"Very Mature..." Avery sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah I know, I'm proud." Chris said puffing out her chest, and on standing on her tipey-toes. She said walking toward the bow of the ship. She tripped over a barrel.. "Avery! I swear if that happens ONE MORE time, I'm gonna forget my words! You need to keep your ship clean!"

"And you've said this how many times?"

Chris nervously scratched her neck... "Um...3?" she said grinning.

"Hypocrite." said Avery laughing.

"Drunkard" Chris countered.

"Landlubber."Avery mocked.

"Sea dog" Chris mocked back.

"Thank you!"

"Welcome"

"It's settled?"

"Yes."

"Well good."

"Alright." said Chris.

"So who will watch the bar in your absence?"

"Isabelle." She reached up her hand to be pulled up from the deck, Avery took a hold of it and pulled her up.

"Isabelle?" Avery chuckled "You've got to be joking..."

"What's wrong with Isabelle?"

"There's nothing wrong with Isabelle..."

"Then-." "But they're not gonna be afraid to rob her..." Avery said remembering the petite, redhead, who was very soft spoken... she was hardly old enough to be considered a woman.

"What do you think she can't do it? She's too young? I'll have you know I was just as old as she is when I first watched a bar."

Avery laughed remembering what had happened. "I was there! You got piss drunk and aimed and shot at anyone who came in, yelling 'Ye get away ye no good street scum!'"

"Well, I didn't get robbed!"

"You didn't sell anything, and you shot at me! I'm lucky that you're such a terrible shot!"

"**Well...well... You are a Pirate!"**

"What has that got to do with anything? Besides You'd trust me with your life!""

"**Never Trust A Pirate.** Maybe if I was suicidal."

"You did say that you'd trust me with your life."

"Says who?"

"You did."

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Alright, we're like peanuts and chocolate, we're meant to be friends."

"Alright which one are you?"

"Chocolate." Avery answered not missing a beat.

"You're sticking me with peanuts!? Besides you are SO not chocolate."

"What's wrong with peanuts? And how am I not chocolate, I'm adventurous and fun."

"There's nothing wrong with peanuts... I just don't act like peanuts And you're just not chocolate."

"What about strawberries and chocolate?"

"Ooo.. I love strawberries!"

Avery smirked 'Now, this is gonna work.'

"But they're not good with chocolate." Avery frowned. "And besides you're just not chocolate."

"Chocolate and Strawberries are like heaven. How am I not chocolate? I'm exotic, I've traveled the world, and everyone loves me–."

"Everyone loves you? I think not, everyone hates you... they're just scared of you! So they act like they love you so you won't hurt them."

"If everyone hates me, why do they act like they love me?" Chris hit herself...

"I just said."

"Alright it's settled then, we're like chocolate and strawberries." Avery said 'Matter-of-Fact-ly'

"No! We're not!" Chris screamed, then said calmly, "We're more like strawberries and bananas."

Avery looked towards Chris for an explanation. "We're good alone, okay together, and we come from entirely different places?"

Avery raised an eyebrow, "We grew up on the same street, and we're good alone and great together."

"I didn't mean location, I meant background!"Chris defended.

"Your mad."

Chris scoffed, "And this is coming from Captain Avery Jayee, the maddest of the madmen... So crazy she can't see the world in front of her for what it really is, so crazy she can't use logic."

Avery laughed. "You sound like some of the superstitious sailors that come to the bars to gossip like nobles."

**On The Black Pearl**

_**The next afternoon**_

The Captain did not look well... this morning. He looked... well... tired. Even the crew noticed, and they aren't the most perceptive fools.

"Excuse me, but– um, Captain... maybe I should take the Helm." Gibbs said in a clear state of worry. Reluctantly the Captain gave up his place.

"Haven't the best night..." he muttered under his breath, and nodded thanks.

Gibbs smiled and watched the Captain move unsteadily towards his cabin. Jack had been having some... interesting dreams... dreams he said, 'That I hadn't had like the early days of my youth.'

The captain, in response to these _dreams_ started acting... a _little_ strange. He no longer paid attention to almost anything that was happening on his ship. The outcome, of this was of course... horrifying. The men, that were once friends would start grabbing at each other's throats over shares, food, women, and even stones on occasion. The end result of these arguments, were obviously disorder and even... plans to mutiny. The Captain was becoming a lesser... can you say? Man. He sweat when ships came into view, he cringed when he heard rats move across the hull of the ship, he couldn't even stay up deck during a storm anymore, and in the bedroom, let's just say his guest left unsatisfied. It was as if the Captain was reliving his boyhood... Little known, to those around him... he was.

**Avery's POV:**

"But why Ave. Why do I have to do this?" Chris whined.

"Because, it's tradition... and if everyone went around breaking traditions for anybody... How would the world be today? And besides, it gives everyone an excuse for drinking a little more rum then usual... And I **won't** go without my rum, Chris. I **won't**." Chris threw her hands up in frustration and literally, (_And I mean quite literally_) growled. "Give me a real excuse, Avery." Chris commanded.

"I'm bored Chris!!!! I _mean_ really, _really, really_ **BORED!!!!!** Besides the crew hasn't had any good entertainment in a while..." Avery said walking off.

"Oh, you've go to be **kidding** me! So, you are using me... because you're too lazy to find yourself entertainment?" Avery chuckled and said, "No. What I intended to do, was to give you an actual welcoming to the crew."

"Not buying it." Chris muttered.

"Who said it was for sale?" Avery questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"It's an expression!" Chris yelled and Avery stared at her blankly... "To say I don't believe you!" Chris cried.

"Oh. Oh, yes! I've hear that one! You ever heard the one about water... eating a bridge?"

"Under."

"Excuse me?"

"Water _under_ the bridge..."

"But that doesn't make any sense..." Avery said trying to put together _this_ puzzle helplessly. Chris groaned and made an attempt at educating Avery, an attempt that did not bear any fruit...

"Okay, now it's called an expression... expressions are to say normal things, but in a different way." Chris looked up to see if Avery was understanding this in any way...Avery nodded blankly.

"Oh. You mean like if you spill the last grain of salt." Avery grinned, proudly.

"No! Not at all!" Chris spewed.

Avery looked confused, and kinda irritated. "That's a superstition... something you believe in.., not a complex way to say something simple... like the expression. 'More then one way to skin a cat.' or 'Black cat crosses your path.' that's a superstition...or even...if you think about it could be an expression for a bad patch or rough time in someone's life..."

If Avery didn't look confused before... she sure did now.

"Huh?" Chris groaned and said, defeated.

"Never mind we can celebrate... if you really want to.."

"Yes! We're going to party to Par-tay Par-tay!!" Avery sung. Her plan had worked.

**Jack's POV:**

He had the dream again... after he went back to bed that morning...

Her eyes still held that cold stare.. The stare of guilt and regret. Her limbs went limb and with her last few breathes she said, "Jack, I'll miss you. Don't worry...everything will be fine." She said reassuringly. Nothing could've prepared him for what was about to come. Even now, it hurt just the same... if not more... because last time he had hope. But not now...now he just knew... and he knew it would play back in his head over and over again every time he closed his eyes. And with that, tears streamed down her face, her chest stopped rising and falling, then her tears stopped. He still clasped her hand. Hoping that by some miracle she had just fallen asleep and would soon wake up... just fine. He held on until her hand was cold...so much that it hurt him. Her hand was big compared to his... he was just a boy... 6 or 7. That had been when he first witnessed death. He remembered every detail, from the smile on her dead lips that made her look like a fallen angel, to the brown hair and the blue watery, still, cold eyes.

He had but one memory of her, but he knew that he loved her with all his heart, and she the same.

He's seen many people die since her... Some went face and other's carried on, just waiting for the suffering to end. But they all had those same eyes those same... watery, cold... dead eyes.

Why am I having these dreams again... what could this mean? That was when Jack realized... he could do only one thing. See one person. Fueled by this revelation, Jack grabbed his coat and ran on deck. "Turn this Ship around and head Westward!"

Gibbs came up to Jack, "Why the sudden change of course?" Jack beamed,

"We're seeing a friend."

**Gibb's POV: The Next Night.**

"Are you sure about the free rum?" Jack asked nervously.

"Aye. Jack there be free rum."

"So who exactly is this friend of yours?" Jack said, suspiciously.

"Oh, just a gal... a person of the past... mutual friend." I answered. My mind bent on seeing Kenny again.

"Wait a woman on a ship, invites you on a ship and you take it? I thought it was bad luck." Jack said, apparently appalled. "Well... not all women... that would be ridiculous to try to follow... just... unrespectable women are bad luck... but... Katherine... that sounds respectable doesn't it?"

Jack's pace slowed in the sand. Jack grimaced at my words. Jack had met with a woman that went by that name... well... it wasn't a woman... nor was it a man... it was a... well to be honest Jack wasn't sure what 'it' was... but it didn't seem that respectable... then the thought occurred to him..

"You didn't think Ana Maria was respectable?" Jack asked.

"Do you know why it's bad luck to bring women on board?" I asked Jack.

"Not in so many words." he reluctantly admitted.

"Let's say a... an old flame -or she might become that way while onboard. Have you ever known a woman **not** hostile in that situation? Hostility means disruption, disruption means disorder, and for a caption disorder means mutiny. Not to mention the majority of the crew would be attracted to her, therefore causing just by her presence... disorder. No woman who the crew thought of any less then a lady would be able to survive very long... either that, or the captain gets mutinied when she's thrown off the boat because most of the crew would go after her... so either way women should not be aboard a man's ship." I looked at Jack to see if he was understanding any of this... it looked like he was piecing it together.. So I didn't bother him.

**Jack's POV:**

Sadly enough Gibb's words made sense.. But he ignored his question entirely, "Why did you think Ana Maria wasn't respectable?" I asked with total curiosity.

Gibbs sighed as if he was letting out a secret that he's had for a long time. "Well... I thought she was an old flame of yours... seeing how she obviously knew you... I figured she wasn't of the respectable and the like.. Seeing how you aren't the sort to be looking for the respectable type...so..." He looked down at his feet... all shamefully. I pat him on the back and told him thanks. Gibbs grinned wide enough it almost looked painful... "Well Glad that's settled" Gibbs said happily. "Follow me." He waved his hand towards me and I followed.

After walking a long the beach for a while...a Big Ship came into view... about as big as the Black Pearl. It seemed there was a huge bonfire on deck of it... and you could see people dancing, drinking, and singing. '_I wonder why I didn't see them before_' "Looks like a party." I said stating the obvious.

No one seemed to notice our arrival... I looked towards the hull of the ship searching for a name... but it was too dark to tell if it even _had_ a name. When we got upon the deck the crowd was still unaffected by us, except for a small, short woman with light, light, blond hair. She looked to be in her early 20s. She slapped Gibbs on sight, then played with his hair and said,

"Where have you been Joshababy?" She asked in a playful voice.

He messed up her hair and said, "I've been around...how are you Kenny?" Gibbs smiled bigger. Gibbs bent down and whispered in her ear.

She hit Gibbs playfully and stood up straight and circled around Jack.

Her eyes held a certain... well... knowledge..deeper then anyone he's ever seen. She smiled, and Jack wrapped his arms about him protectively, it felt as though she was undressing him with her eyes.

"Jack Sparrow, isn't it?" She said, more as common knowledge then an actual question.

Jack put his hands in his pockets and questioned, "Who's asking?" She smiled, a smile that matched that better a confident predator then a baby-faced teen.

"I'm called by many names... some I've gotten by pure reputation...and other's... just because." She sighed, over-dramatically. "So many names... So many people..." She turned towards him, and said, "You may call me Cat."


End file.
